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Hokay so, Im procrastinating on chinese and precalc and what not but for some reason i feel really emotional, like sad. I've had an awesome relaxing few days. But i feel really down still. Im pretty sure i know why. I think its because i havent been hurt this bad in a very very long time. Especially by someone i trusted (past tense). Sometimes I think Im over it but, im not. I mean it hasnt even been a month but i feel like i should be over it. The worst part is thinking a head and realizing that I might loose some awesome friends because they were his first. I wish it would have ended sooner. Instead of after lots of lies and cheating and such. Then maybe it would be easier.
These are my last 5 weeks at conserve school and i want them to be the best but I dont think that will happen. Not after finding out about all the lies and the bull shit after the fact. He quit talking to me and starting talking to another girl and then ignored me for his EX (also my friend but whatever) it hurt!!! And we were still dating suposedly. What the hell... I doubt he'll even read this. I really dont even know who reads this...
Sorry, this is huge emotional rant that probably makes no sense but i need to write this down and i forgot my journal at home.Current Mood:  depressed |
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I have finally been accepted to a college! It may be my safetly school but i dont care! Finally! Oh yeah, and it's university of New England. |
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I have officiall sent out 7 applications to colleges! Granted I wont get into most of them but they are in. I have somewhere to go. Only 4 more to go and I'm done. lol.
Went to the club yesterday instead of doing aplications and it kicked a$$. Except for the fact that in the end you literally couldnt move it was so crowded. And during the whole push and shove event I would say 5 people actually said sorry. What has this world come to if only 5 people can say they're sorry for poking you in the ribs and stepping on your feet?
Oh wellCurrent Mood:  relieved Current Music: reggae mix |
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I would like to wish one of my best friends in the whole wide world a very very happy birthday! We may not see each other at all anymore but she is still one of the most beatiful souls i have ever met. I hope you have the best 20th birthday in the world Pauline. I wish i could be there with you. Call me before you leave for Germany. Much love.
VH # 2
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Nov. 27th, 2005 @ 10:50 pm
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The DMB Concert yesterday rocked!!!! |
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I hate Fu**ing liars and Hipocrits. People need to lean to tell the truth or go back to where they came from. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Anways, I'm done now. College applications time.
Nov. 9th, 2005 @ 09:43 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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"You never know what you have till it's gone..." Today was more than obviously the earth day symposium and I was in the class that had to pick out the environmnetal anthem. We didn't pick the song from which i stole that line but that line really made me think today. Especially about last year and some of the people from last year. I really miss a lot of those people right now. Especially two people. Those who know me well can guess. Ok, that was my rant about my little walk in the past.
Oct. 14th, 2005 @ 11:54 pm
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| » I LOVE BOSTON!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Yes i do. It is a city with so much character. I absolutley adore it.
I'm out here in New England touring colleges but i dont think it's helping me with my college search. I've found a few that i like but i dont know how i will ever decide. Too bad none of them are near boston, so far. I'm going to Boston College and Wellsley tomorrow. I'm really excited for my overnight at wellsley. Hopefully everything goes well like it did at Bates College. (Number one choice right now).
Let's see, bad news is i just found out that it's for sure my brother is leaving for Afghanistan in December. He arrived at fort Hood yesterday and all his plans were confermied. I know he's happy but still, i'm scared.
Ok, I'm paying $10 for this internet service at my hotel so that i can do homework. It's time to stop procrastinting.
Oct. 5th, 2005 @ 09:32 pm
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I really want to be at home right now. I just want to go to a concert. I'm stressed, tired and just feeling shity. I couldn't even walk straight tonight. I do have to say though that last night made all this crap worth it. The northern lights were amazing and, I dont think I've seen the starts that clear in awhile.
Sep. 3rd, 2005 @ 10:00 pm
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| » Ladies and Gentleman... |
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Do you like Jack Johnson? Do you like camping and the great outdoors? Then I've got a concert for you. Jack Johnon, ALO, and Matt Costa and maybe Ben Harper are performing a concert this August 27, 2005 in Somerset, Wisconsin. It's a Outdoor concert with plenty of places to camp or whatever overnight. I dont know who else wants to go but I know that do. The tickets are fairly priced and somerset is pretty closed to the cities. The only problem is we're at school during this time. So, i know that I nor anyone else can go unless we get a ride. Is anyone intrested in going??? Let me know and we can figure out some details. Sorry for this pathetic plea but i really want to go!!!!!!!!!
Aug. 10th, 2005 @ 05:24 pm
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| » I need a drink |
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I've had such a weird summer but it is coming to an end way to soon. Less than 3 weeks till were back. yikes.
Last night i went an saw Christopher O'Riley. It was Amazing. For those who don't know who that is he's a classical pianist that transcribes radiohead songs into piano music. Its amazing. I went with this cool guy Matt from work. But im still so tired from it.
My ranger court of honor is in less than a week and i really dont care anymore. I wanted my brother to be here but, he wont be. He was also supoused to take me to the Killers concert but he wont be here. Now I dont have anyone to go with and I dont know anyone that lives around here and is even the slightest bit intrested in the Killers. So thats a bummer. I want to Go. The tickets are cheap too. But thats not the worst part. My brother is going to airborne school, meaning he'll be jumping out of planes. And from there he's going to fort hood in Texas. Fort Hood has three units basically. ONe will be shipped to south america, one to afghanistan, and one to Iraq. We dont know where or when he's going but he will. :( He might come visit me at school when hes on leave for a few days while in transport. But who knows.
Last, I've been good all summer for my job but i dont know if i can take another week. Its becomeing harder and harder.
Thats my life for all who cared to read it.
Jul. 31st, 2005 @ 11:15 pm
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I like having days off, its nice. And days like this can still be eventful. Like today I made amends with someone I haven't talked to politly in months. With out the stress of conserve it's a lot easier to appologize and be civilized. We both realized we were at fault and after a few minutes things were good again. Why is it that Conserve makes such simple things like appolgies so hard??? I dont know but im glad A friendship was not lost.
I also found out today that I get to go to the killers concert and the Reel Big Fish concert in August. They're going to be the best. Lets see, what else. Oh yeah, My BROTHER IS COMING HOME!!!!!!! its only for a few day but still. As of now after he comes home hes shipping out to Japan or ... Iraq. We really dont know. I'm scared but I know what ever happens will be the best.
PS for the few that will know what im talking about... I still havent picked up the phone to call yet.
Jul. 19th, 2005 @ 01:48 pm
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| » Meh |
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Ok, so today marked the start of my 4th job of the summer. yeah, thats right job number 4. I started work at CVS/Pharmacy today. Soooooooo Boring. All I could think about was camp. Last saturday I got back from a week at boy scout camp(Many Point). I realized while i was there that i should of excepted my position as a couseler there. I cant keep my mind off of it. It had to be one of the best week's of my life. I met some super cool canadians and some really funny counselers. Camp is almost better when the couselers are the same age as you. I've also decided im moving away to Canada. Ahhhhh I also started my HIV/AIDS Instructor course today. It should be a breeze but it means I'll be in class from now till Saturday. 9-6 everyday. Then work. Jeez, I want A break. Why cant I be a teenager. Maybe I'll make time for that tomorrow. As for now I have a 5:00am wake up call and I'm off to dream...
Jul. 11th, 2005 @ 11:31 pm
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| » not sure |
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There's a big diffrence between Conserve and the real world. I mean, I always knew there was one but never this big of a diffrence. Coming back to the parties and late nights seems almost sureal. I almost dont like it. Its weird. Oh well, i LOVE having a job though. I'm teaching swim lessons at the community center and it rocks. It makes me feel like i have a purpose.
The first week of summer has been kind of nice. President Bush came to my town and got to see him wave from his motercade. That was cool. But it was even more fun to see all the crazy people argue with all there signs. I even saw and old granny get into it with a high school student.
Well, now that todays monday i can officailly say that tomorrows my birthday and i think thats scary because that means i have one more year till im 18, a adult. I cant believe it. Its way to scary to think about.
I miss everyone form Conserve and hope to hear from you guys soon. Call me because I get bored. (763)228-1986!
Pauline! I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!! Anything new with Dawson?
Jun. 19th, 2005 @ 12:49 am
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I love spring! Today was beautiful. Kayaking, barbecuing and going on a walk. Everything seemed perfect. Finally something to appreciate.
Jun. 1st, 2005 @ 10:03 pm
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| » Refreshed- and have time |
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Going home this weekend was awesome! Although I actually was home in total 14 hours ... But i finally have a summer job which is a huge relief off my shoulders. I get to work with kids! YAY! WE still have 3 WEEKS left at school and thats depressing. Especially since everyone back home is getting out next week. I want to go home now! I miss my dad and family. But im going to make the next 3 weeks here the best anyways because i dont care anymore. I feel like trying new things. I suck at this whole ranting thing. Everyone should go to Softball's home game on tuesday! Its our last one
:( Ok. I definetly have to much time on my hands right now.
May. 22nd, 2005 @ 04:08 pm
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| » Everbodys gotta learn sometime |
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There are exactly 5 weeks left of school. I cant believe it but, the worst part about that is i dont want to leave yet. I need more time here. I don't want my firends to leave, I dont want to be a senior and have to REALLY deal with college. The worst part about this is im only here one more weekend out of the next 5 and it kind of sucks. Yeah, its nice to get off campus but after these 5 weeks I probably wont see some of these people ever again. I mean come on that sucks. And today I hung out with the Anderson twins and I feel so bad that I havent spent more time with them. Since, i am their buddy (at least Becca's). Does anyone else feel like this? Oh well, i dont have time to worry. With SAB stuff, having to pass my driving test tomorrow, AP testing, Homework and getting ready for Canada (Yeah, thats right i know you want to go too) I dont have time to think. But,on the brightside its a beautiful day out!
May. 7th, 2005 @ 05:22 pm
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| » Meh |
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Well, i always seem to forget about this place until i really need someone to talk to. I really dont know what to think about things anymore. Have you ever been happy for no reason at all? and the next minute sad for seemingly the same reason...Its a horrible feeling. Not knowing whats going on with the people around you. You think you know someone or something, but... then you dont. Oh well, life is just what it's going to be. Wow... i just ramled that whole last paragraph. If anyone understands it let me know.
Feb. 2nd, 2005 @ 09:33 pm
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| » AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
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Hey, look its updated... four months later yet again. Well this time i just need a place to rant. You know how when your at school you think home is the best place ever??? But, when you get here all you get is told to "do this..." or "Do that..." OMG im sick of it. I walked in the door today, one feeling sick two feeling all doped up on cough medicine... literally. I've just been getting so sick and it sucks. Anyways, i walk up the stairs and i dont even get a F***ing hello!! All i get is my mom telling me that i have to get up early tomorrow, yeah the first day of break and clean. AHHHHHHH i dont mind cleaning just the fact she was bitchy. Grrrrr and i was having a soso night until again i was reminded of what time of the year it was yeah. Yeah i know christmas but its also the worst time of the year because its when people always seem to die. but im not going into that now. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Dec. 18th, 2004 @ 11:51 pm
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